Monday, November 14, 2005

Poor babies: The top victims of 2005

Nobody is responsible for anything anymore, since almost everyone is a victim. Here are the top victim stories of 2005:

Children of witches are victimized by Halloween. Coming to class dressed as a witch on Halloween is a violation of "equitable schools' policies," according to the Toronto district school board. The board said it feared "traumatic shock" if children treat "the Christian sexist demonization of pagan religious beliefs as 'fun.'"

British Muslims are victimized by Piglet and piggy banks. Novelty pig calendars, toys and even a tissue box featuring Winnie the Pooh and Piglet have been banned in the benefits department at Dudley Council, West Midlands, out of deference to Muslim sensibilities.

Students are victimized by the disappearance of low weekend prices in bars. Pressured by the University of Wisconsin and a federal campaign against binge drinking, 24 bars near the Madison campus agreed to end cut-rate weekend prices. Three students and a Minneapolis law firm failed to convince a Wisconsin circuit judge that this represented conspiracy and price fixing. But they are suing again in federal court.

Fired CBS employee is victimized by Viacom, CBS, vicious bloggers and the panel that investigated her, including a "McCarthyite" who asked if she is a liberal. Mary Mapes complained last week that people were saying mean things about her and the discredited "60 Minutes II" segment she produced about President Bush's military service. No apology, though. For unknown reasons, Mapes' new book is titled "Truth and Duty" rather than "I Messed Up Big Time and I'm Sorry."

Atheists are victimized by religious people. The Los Angeles Times said nonbelievers feel stress when a major leaguer points skyward after a hit or when an actor thanks God after winning an Oscar. Some join atheist groups anonymously to avoid harassment. Still, atheist organizations hope at least one presidential candidate will court their votes in 2008. Thank God.

New Orleans school-bus failure was Bush's fault - maybe Bill Clinton's too. Why didn't the city use all those empty buses to drive poor people to safety as Hurricane Katrina approached? Louisiana Sen. Mary Landrieu explained on Fox News: "It's because this administration and administrations before them do not understand the difficulties .... . .[the Bush] administration did not believe in mass transit."

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